Die Again
by Professional Tsundere
Summary: "You're better off alive, not because you're useful but because you're meaningful"/"I used to be jealous of who I thought you were, now I'm jealous of how well you hide it"/"Breaking ties doesn't solve anything, just kick down the wall and do it yourself"/"Just keep dreaming until one comes true, and even then don't stop" DISCONTINUED. BEING REWRITTEN.
1. Joshua - Prologue

**Disclaimer: The author(ess) owns no part of the official subject they are creating work for.**

* * *

Joshua never thought to ask why Neku what he was doing at the CAT Mural that day; after all it wasn't like he scouted the teen to be his proxy, just coincidence. But when Hanekoma told him the boy ran into the café looking haggard and was hiding in the backroom he immediately materialized into the RG to find out what was wrong. Let it never be said that Yoshiya Kiryu didn't care for his subordinates, his loyal ones at least.


	2. Joshua - 1

**I'M SORRY I FORGOT THIS STORY EXISTED**

 **Disclaimer:** **The author(ess) owns no part of the official subject they are creating work for.**

* * *

When the storage room door slammed open Neku shrank even further into the dark corner he occupied.

"Where is he?" The harsh words startled the orangette as he clamped his hands around his ears. How he missed his headphones; it had been a stupid decision to just throw them on the ground. They were the only thing that protected him and now there was nothing.


	3. Joshua - 2

**Disclaimer:** **The author(ess) owns no part of the official subject they are creating work for.**

* * *

Seeing his proxy hiding in the corner, hands over his ears in a childish manner, sent a twinge of something equal parts guilt and pity. The emotions caused the Composer to stop; human feelings had no place in a celestial being after all. Gazing at the boy, Joshua knelt so they were at equal levels and carefully moved his hands away.

"Neku, look at me," the teen raised his head and one glance flooded Josh with pity. His eyes were wide, fear echoing repeatedly within the blue orbs. Dried tears trailed down his cheeks and the subtle shaking of his shoulders hinted more were on the way. "What happened?


	4. Joshua - 3

**Disclaimer:** **The author(ess) owns no part of the official subject they are creating work for.**

* * *

"I- I can't." Lowering his gaze, Neku used all his willpower to hold in tears but a few traitor drops still leaked out. "Would you kill me again? Let me become a Reaper so I don't have to return." It hurt to say but it was nicer than the truth.


	5. Joshua - 4

**Disclaimer:** **The author(ess) owns no part of the official subject they are creating work for.**

* * *

"That's not possible," shock graces Joshua's features before he got the emotion under check. "Becoming a Reaper means balancing your life in the RG and your duties in the UG, and understanding that if you fail all traces of your existence will be erased." He smirked as his thought of a way to deter Neku's train of thought. "Besides, if you die again so easily I might just rethink my decision to spare Shibuya."

There was no way his proxy would throw away the very same people he fought to save less than a month ago. The boy wouldn't be able to stomach having one person's blood on his hands let alone thousands', just another reason why he wasn't fit to be a Reaper.

"I- okay. Just give me time to warn Shiki and the others, please?" The second those words left Neku's mouth Joshua's plan fell around him, leaving him holding an empty threat like an unloaded gun.


	6. Joshua - 5

**Disclaimer:** **The author(ess) owns no part of the official subject they are creating work for.**

* * *

How was he going to explain this to Shiki? Get out of Shibuya; take Eri and both of your families? She'd question him and if he didn't tell she'd go to Mr. H. Beat would be easy, didn't he talk about how he didn't care for anyone, but wait he also mentioned trying to reconcile with his parents. But Rhyme could escort them out so it wasn't a pro-

"Are you listening to me or not?" A harsh snap startled Neku from his train of thought and brought his gaze to the forgotten figure.


	7. Joshua - 6

**Disclaimer:** **The author(ess) owns no part of the official subject they are creating work for.**

* * *

Joshua stood up to look down upon the frightened boy with a sneer.

"I don't know who you are but you clearly have some gall to do such a poor imitation of my proxy. Here's a tip, he wasn't as selfish as you. _'Destroy all of Shibuya except for your_ friends _'_ , if the fact that he fought like hell to save those people didn't mean anything there wouldn't be another Shibuya to erase. Not to mention that his friends would never leave without the truth, or when they discovered what it was," turning away from the boy he made for the door. "And tell who ever sent you I won't listen to that request unless the real Neku tells me."


	8. Joshua - 7

**Disclaimer:** **The author(ess) owns no part of the official subject they are creating work for.**

* * *

Neku rose up and charged at Joshua faster that even he expected, turning the Composer around and slamming him against a wall.

"Dammit Joshua I _am_ the real Neku!" His voice held unbridled fury despite his earlier breakdown. "I'm sick of all of it! Those three weeks without having to deal with them just made returning all the worst!" Rage dissipating as quickly as it appeared left the boy sinking to his knees, holding onto Joshua's shirt like a lifeline. "Please just take me away, I don't care how."


	9. Joshua - 8

**Disclaimer:** **The author(ess) owns no part of the official subject they are creating work for.**

* * *

Letting out a sigh Joshua gently removed the boys– Neku's hands from his shirt. Sneaking out of the storage room he went up to the Hanekoma with a grim look on his face.

"So how's Phones?" Despite the lazy grin on his face Joshua knew the Angel was faking nonchalance for the both of them.

"I'll have two hot chocolates, _please_."

"That bad, eh? Well since you asked so nicely, sure thing _boss_ ," going to fix the drinks Hanekoma looked over his shoulder. "So are you gonna say anything? It's not like there's anyone to over hear."

"I think– no I know someone's hurting him. It isn't something new but I don't know how long it's been occurring."

Sliding the two to-go cups in front of Joshua Hanekoma placed a hand on the Composers head before it was harshly brushed off. "This one's on the house, for real this time."


	10. Joshua - 9

**Disclaimer:** **The author(ess) owns no part of the official subject they are creating work for.**

* * *

He just left. Walked out the door like nothing had happened. Or maybe he was just so ashamed of _his proxy_ that he'd rather pretend the sorry excuse for a human really was a fake sent to deceive him.

Neku remained kneeled on the floor, arms limp at his side. He was done, if Joshua wouldn't help him he'd have to find another way. The train of thought was halted as a warm cup of something – coffee? tea? – was placed next to him. Looking up at the figure he was fully expecting Mr. H but was surprised at Joshua's face.

"I thought chocolate was meant to calm someone's nerves," was the only explanation given. As the blond sat down next to Neku he pointedly looked away, keeping his face from view.


	11. Notice

Die Again is to be placed under indefinite hiatus as the dynamics are reworked. Current version will remain until revised edition is fit for publishing. Existence of this specific work after such time is unknown and will be dependant on public opinion.


End file.
